I recently received a wonderful email from Jordan over at Qatmaster which I feel encapsulates how living with an invisible illness can feel, and what a blessing the WordPress family is to have around when you’re struggling. Thank you Jordan for letting me share this here as part of the ‘Foggy Frog and the Pain Gang’ campaign.
What a beautiful description of the worst and best thing that ever happened to me! While I don’t think I’m as invisible as I once was (down to 110 from a very fit 150, less than ten teeth left, somewhat less attractive than I thought I ought to be…), at a glance, I still appear relatively fit. Maybe just rundown a bit.
After 11 years with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (chronic pain)/ Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (that pain is gonna travel where ever it wants to whenever it wants to)/Chronic Fatigue (just a side effect of my body’s struggle with the pain), I have finally begun to feel just a little bit better about myself and my life.
I don’t know whether it’s because of the new Volcano vaporizer I got for xmas from the Best Sister in the World, or the Coconut oil I recently added to my diet, or the beginning of my Third and probably final Saturn return cycle, but something is different.
Maybe it’s just a fluke and things aren’t really different. Maybe I just THINK things are different. I’ll take it. I don’t care. Anything that improves my life situation, I embrace. Even if it’s temporary. After all, I did just damage my left hand. I don’t know how that turned into a whole body thing, and I don’t know why my left shin is still numb after four months. When I see my doctor, day after tomorrow, I will draw out a circle on my leg of where I’m numb so she can take photos of it.
And that’s my biggest blessing. I have an actual pain doctor. A dctor trained in treating pain of any type. She is phenomenal. She has never once doubted my situation (despite the physical therapist at the other end of her office throwing up her hands and saying I can’t help you if you wimp out every time I touch you. That therapist no longer worked there a couple of months later…), and has been so completely supportive. When I asked about med cannabis, she said, no problem, drew up the form on her pc, filled it out and said get your card asap. It will help a lot. she was right. The story of that begins in my main blog which is more about the things that are right in my life, travels to my 2nd blog (vaping4life, which is not yet truly live), and will eventually get its own blog just so I have somewhere to go when I need to talk about THAT.
And now I have a community I thought I would have to LOOK for, and it has already found ME. There is a Universe (god, if you will) and she (he, it, they, what ever) is looking out for me and the rest of us as well. I feel so gratified to have found you, thank you for reading my blog and letting me know you were here too.
Jordan has recently commenced blogging. He has been ‘medically’ retired and uses his blog as a means of keeping him on his path. He is a “gaming pc builder with a 30 year history of writing, teaching writing, biz coaching, and pc work of a number of kinds.”