Since my birthday the other week, I’ve felt like I’ve gone from moving two steps forward to taking a giant leap backwards.
I know that progress is meant to be two steps forward, one step back but I feel that this has been more than one step back!
I feel like in terms of activity levels, focus ability and pain levels I’ve gone back at least one month maybe more.
On my birthday I attempted to do a day of work-related activity (I attempted to attend a networking event I would normally attend as part of my job). The trip into town had already left me feeling drained of energy and in a deep fog but I managed to focus for the first 30 minutes to an hour. After that fatigue and pain levels started reaching a point that I couldn’t remain focused. I managed to stay for 3 hours but realistically should probably have left after the first hour.
Since then brain fog, fatigue (exhaustion, whatever you want to call it!) and pain levels have been bad. I’ve been struggling to get up again in the mornings after just having got to the point I could get up at 7 am and function at a low level for most of the day. I’m needing to rest more during the day, and my pain won’t drop back down.
Overdoing it, not only on my birthday but during the week surrounding it, has had a larger impact than I was expecting.
This clearly demonstrates to me, and those around me, that I’m not ready to even consider returning to work full time. Unfortunately, it has also made me struggle with staying positive the last few weeks. I’m trying everything I can to stay positive and to continue to move forward. Reminding myself that the set back is temporary and that, as E keeps reminding me, rest is my number one priority. Everything else is secondary to that.
I need to keep myself on track to make sure I don’t fall into a depression. Staying positive is what has got me this far, I need to keep it up so that I can keep going!